Challenge Yourself to Create Better Relationships… Offline
I see many people spending an inordinate amount of time talking about how to build relationships online through Twitter, Facebook, etc., which, frankly, is getting immensely boring. What I’ve been more interested in recently is much more old school: fostering relationships in real life. Now, I’m not talking about attending a networking event, that’s way too easy. What I’m talking about is smaller groups of people getting together for coffee, dinner, drinks, etc.
This came up in a conversation I had with local Phoenix artist and photographer, Tyson Crosbie a few weeks ago. He posited that, while getting together in larger groups was fine for many things, it didn’t foster the same type of relationships that smaller groups did. Further, he stated that some of the best conversations he’d had were in very small groups. It shouldn’t be news to anyone that it’s easier for people to bond in smaller groups, right? I tended to agree and started thinking about it more.
New online tools make it easier for us to find people with which we share similar interests and they allow us to communicate with them. Having online friends is becoming the norm… there are many people I’ve talked with online that I’ve never met in real life. However, the communication mediums that currently exist online are flawed. For instance, we’ve probably all experienced how easily the subtleties of human interaction are lost when communicating online. After all, these are just tools; they’re not an end, they’re a means to an end!
When I do, occasionally, visit meatspace I’m either attending a networking event or some other social gathering. I think there’s a desire to be a part of something large because that’s often used as a measure of “success”. Much like many bureaucracies, the larger things get, the harder it is to accomplish something meaningful. I think making a more personal connection with a small group of people is far more valuable than being one of many in a semi-anonymous crowd.
So, why not challenge yourself this month? Use your tools to gather 3-4 people you don’t know well from amongst your diverse network of people and invite them for coffee, sit down for dinner or have a drink at a local bar. Hell, invite them over and cook them dinner, but whatever you do, start creating better relationships. Oh, and if you go out, please go to a local place and not a chain 
Let us know your experience in the comments!
More of my rantings
- Life as an Entrepreneur
- Using Foursquare to Discover Phoenix
- Observations Photographing LaidOffCamp Phoenix
These might also interest you
- How Not To Use Social Media (The Arkayne Blog)
- How To Write Better Blog Posts (The Arkayne Blog)
- Online Leads to Offline Community (Voices of Arizona)
Small is the new big. Real relationships trump pseudo, if you really care.
September 10th, 2009 at 5:03 pmSounds awesome.
September 11th, 2009 at 4:48 amDefinitely with you on that one.
September 11th, 2009 at 4:54 amTrying to "switch off & get out".
Agreed. My theory is that online networks are a great way to get introduced to others and stay in touch, Tweetup's, #PFN's etc are a great way to get better acquainted with you online buddies and put 'faces to names'; but for a true relationship to develop, you need more intimate gatherings. (and nothing beats bonding over a beer!
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September 11th, 2009 at 5:01 pmI'm with Tyson on this one, close personal relationships have much more value than distant acquaintances. But its worth pointing out social media such as Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn do a really good job of linking compatible people to each other very quickly and speeding up the rapport process. With these tools you now have the ability to know so much about someone before you even meet with them, as eerie as it is, it's stil pretty cool! Social Media also gives introverts the chance to act more like an extrovert (on the net) and from what I've seen shy people are much more comfortable meeting someone in person with whom they've engaged with via social media first.
September 25th, 2009 at 7:13 pm